


When It Rains, It Pours

by cadkitten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angels, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things never quite set well after Purgatory, some worse than others. For Dean, a part of that was a relationship he never really meant to have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It Rains, It Pours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tcharlatan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tcharlatan/gifts), [saraid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraid/gifts), [beekeepercain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beekeepercain/gifts).



> I know it's no quite what each of you had requested, but I wanted to at least get something for you. Involving Comfort from Cas.  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame  
> Song[s]: "Psyche" by Zilch

Coming back from Purgatory had been one of the hardest things Dean had ever done. Not only had it taken every last ounce of who he was to escape, but the fact that he'd had to leave Castiel behind... that he'd failed the angel... that cut him deeper than anything. Or at least he'd thought that had been the peak of his internal agony.

But now, months down the line, he realized there were other things that cut him far deeper, scars he'd never heal, and deeds he was far from proud of, but that had definitely happened. And now, seeing the ghost of Castiel's memory around every bend, it only ate at him harder than before.

Rolling over on his bed, Dean stared out the window, watching the glimmer of Cas come in and then fade away, only to come back a few seconds later. Closing his eyes, he tugged the blankets up closer around his shoulders and did his best to will his overactive imagination to calm down. Nothing was going to bring him back... and certainly nothing would solve what he'd done. It was something he'd have to live with for the rest of his life and he knew it. This presence was only the start of his penance. 

Absently, he trailed one finger over his forearm, feeling the scar from where he'd cut himself open to free Benny from inside him when he'd brought him back from Purgatory. A Vampire... surely this was not something old Dean would have done. But the Dean who had done all that he could to survive had certainly been different than the previous version. He'd come to terms with a lot of things about himself and about life in the time he'd been down the rabbit hole, that was for certain.

His fingers slid over the scar, feeling, remembering, the memories bubbling up like water from a fountain, coating him with the emotions the moments provided.

_It had been months already and Dean was exhausted to his very core. Ready to give up, he'd thrown himself into an impossible battle, willing the end finally, just determined to take as many with him as he could. The cold hands gripped him from every direction, the snarls and panted breaths had told him his wish wasn't far off. And then... Benny had come, and he'd destroyed every last bloodsucker until he was the only one left standing. And when he'd helped Dean to his feet, he'd given him a look that clearly asked him not to take him as one of the others. Though... why the Vampire had taken the side of a human was beyond him._

Dean rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, his hand moving to rub lightly over his stomach as he allowed himself to drift.

_Saving one another's butts had become the number one incident as of late. And, for that, Dean was thankful in a myriad of ways. They'd tracked down Castiel and they were now a group of three, tracking and killing, fighting their way toward something Benny claimed would at least get Dean out of Purgatory. He wasn't sure he believed the Vampire, but it was something to cling to... one final hope, and he couldn't simply drop it._

_But tonight... things were quiet. They'd cleared out an area and found a place to at least rest for a bit. But as the hours slid past and Dean found himself no closer to sleep, he knew exactly why. Ritual was a hard thing to break and Dean had certainly always had one after a good, long hunt. He'd always found his savior at the bottom of a bottle, his cock seated firmly inside the chosen partner for the evening. But out here... those things didn't exist. And so, for hours, he rolled around restlessly... until finally, he was fed up and so completely done with the inability to sleep that he threw caution to the wind. After checking that both the Vampire and the angel seemed to be asleep, he unfastened his pants and took himself in hand, driving himself quickly toward the edge of his release, praying it would work and that he'd find his rest at the other end of his orgasm._

_What he'd never expected was Benny to roll over just as he was about to cum, and push his hand away, replacing it with his own, easing him over the edge in a much more satisfying manner. And afterward, the way Benny let him curl up against his side, holding him close throughout the night... it had been like the makings of Heaven rather than Purgatory, even if just for a few hours._

Dean let out a quiet little gasp as he pushed his hand into his boxer briefs and grasped his hardened cock, starting to stroke himself rather furiously. He knew Sam was in the next bed and that he should really be more considerate, but he just couldn't bring himself to care right then. It'd been so long since he and Benny had parted ways and he hadn't done a thing since then. 

Shifting slightly, he pushed his boxers down and spread his legs, licking one finger and sliding it down under his balls to tease at his entrance, having accepted to liking the feeling of a light touch there after some of the things Benny had done to him. He arched a bit off the bed and bit back a whimper as his mind plunged him into the next, delicious memory.

_The smooth, pale skin of Benny's hips looked so very right underneath Dean's calloused hands. Even as he plunged his cock into the other's body, again and again, he found that he felt more alive now than he ever had in the past. His entire past had been one long search for the truth and now... now he'd found it, hidden amongst the fucked up bullshit of Purgatory and his months at its mercy._

Dean remembered that night clearly, the first time he'd accepted Benny's offer of an actual fuck, the first time he'd plunged his cock into the other's body and fucked for what seemed like hours, the Vampire never once complaining. It was sort of awkward for him, not having a way to pleasure the other man at the same time, given those things didn't work for a Vampire the way they did for a human. But Benny had told him it felt nice anyway and that he liked knowing Dean was being pleasured.

With a groan, Dean shoved his face against his pillow, rolling onto his side away from Sammy, and pushing the covers out of the way as he got a little more enthusiastic on his jerking off. He knew it was loud... that if Sammy was having trouble sleeping, he'd surely hear him. But he also couldn't bring himself to give a shit. He wanted pleasure and pleasure he would get... one way or another.

The memory of the night Benny had asked him to face him while he was fucking him, asked him to pull out and cum, slammed into him like a freight train and before he could even wrap his mind around the fact that he was about to lose it, he was shooting across the bedsheets, still going after himself with enough vigor to splatter some of his cum out across the blue carpet of the hotel room floor.

Panting, he collapsed on the bed and flicked his gaze up toward the window again, watching as Castiel's form glimmered in and out of existence. "I'm sorry," he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes, even as he used the edge of the sheet to clean his hand. "I loved you first, Cas, but you never let me tell you." He rolled away from the window and stared off into the darkness instead. "I still love you, but he gave me what you will never be able to."

In the other bed, Sam lay there, staring up at the ceiling, his face a mask of half-shock, half-pain. So this was what his brother had been keeping from him all this time. He'd obviously found someone while he'd been in Purgatory... which didn't bode well since he'd never mentioned another human, and he'd been in love with Castiel. That explained a million and one things in Sam's book, but he just wasn't sure what to do with the information now that he had it. Confronting his brother would be a disaster, but not confronting him could lead to horrible, horrible things. 

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and did the only thing he could think to do: he prayed. _"Castiel... if you can hear me, Dean needs you. He needs you more than you'll ever know."_ With that, he did his best to fall back into sleep, already hearing Dean's breathing evening out in the other bed.

Outside, Castiel stood there, trying so hard to manifest himself completely enough to be seen for a reasonable period of time. He had a feeling Dean had been seeing him, but he couldn’t communicate just yet and, tonight especially, that hurt him more than he was willing to admit. Sitting down, he rested, waiting on his power to come back to him... waiting on the moment in which he could finally confront Dean about everything he'd known had been going on with Benny... about why it wasn't anymore... and about everything he'd just said, thinking it'd fall on deaf ears. Tomorrow... tomorrow was going to be a hell of a day.

**The End**


End file.
